“From Grieving to Greatness” is what I am actually calling it. Basically, I now look in the mirror and I am not the same man I was two and a half years ago.
I have evolved. Please don’t get me wrong, I am most definitely still grieving Suzanne and always will. But now I am different.
My role is to continue to grow and to continue to serve the community that I am part of. My growth is your gain.
Over these last two and a half years, I have grown. It was not a conscious choice in the beginning.
No; I had to be dragged, kicking and screaming, swearing and shouting (literally and figuratively), into this stage of growth. But here I am. And, my only advice for those around me is this: Make growth your main priority.
While daunting challenges and getting outside of our comfort zone will undoubtedly change the way we think about the situations we find ourselves in, focusing solely on surviving or some form of success instead of on growth can be both a distraction and an obsession. We most make growth a priority and sometimes that means asking for help.
Survival shouldn’t be our only priority. Instead, when we focus on how this challenge might make us grow, we start to evolve and awaken. By evolving our thinking and our growth, we can move beyond surviving to thriving.
By focusing on our internal growth and state, success and the ability to thrive start to come naturally. But this does not mean becoming self-absorbed or wallowing in self-pity. Nor does it mean being narcissistic.
Grief has a way of messing us up from the inside out. But the grief eventually starts to ebb and becomes a dull ache instead a raging torrent of pain.
If we allow ourselves the opportunity to grow a little every time we “fail” at the challenge of changing our true self and inner state, every time we feel like the weight of the world (and our grief) will crush us but still get out of bed, then inevitably we will succeed and we will see forward motion and momentum. We will grow and we will heal.
Most of the time, we are looking ahead. Unfortunately, we sometimes see only the huge mountain to climb in front of us.
When we pause and reflect–when we turn to see how far we have come–the challenge ahead doesn’t feel or seem so daunting. It helps us to see that we have made progress and escaped the black clouds that had been surrounding us. But growing is the only way we succeed. We better ourselves.
And bettering ourselves is the first and most important step we can take to create our own success.
Although it is difficult, changing our mindset around failure and around the way we grieve can actually make you more successful by making you more resilient.
When we start to focus on how we can grow from any given situation, including our grief, then those pervasive negative thoughts soon start to be replaced by opportunistic ones–by positive thoughts and memories that can help guide us and drive us forward. I know that I found resilience in growth, and my growth has led to my success. I hope for the same for you.
If you want to start to build those resilience muscles, then join my free 5-Day Building Resilience Mini-Course here.